Tools that are at disposal.  Tell your story brotha!

It's that gut feeling; that instinct that makes you squint your eyes ever so slightly and stare, leaning your head faintly to the right.

 You're not so sure about that person, are you? You're not certain he's telling you the truth.  There's something more that she's not saying.

 You watch him.  You notice whether he looks away when he's making a point, or whether she holds her chin because she's uncomfortable with her words. They want your buy-in.  Your decision?  You'll wait and see.

 Trust is a powerful emotion.

 Think about how well you trust the people who surround you most: your co-workers, your boss, your partner, your family. Are they clear about what's right and what's wrong and take the high road  or are they comfortable with deceit, no matter how small?

Do they take responsibility for their decisions and actions, or do they deflect and point fingers at others?

 Do they act as though they care? For whom?  Others or themselves?

 Can you count on them - and do you? Would you be willing to take a big risk with them as your back-up?

 Trust determines how much you'll invest, doesn't it? It governs whether you'll embrace them or hold them off;  whether you'll be transparent or keep your secrets; whether you're even willing to show them what you have to offer.

 It's sobering to think about. Giving them your trust is not to be taken lightly. It's a very big deal.

 Now.  Ponder this: You co-workers, your boss, your partner and your family are also reading this message now and thinking about you. How will you rate?  Have you earned their trust?

 Is there something you can do today to increase it? 

The upcoming Bright Ideas will offer some tips.

Wrise Booker & c/o Urban Playa

This is important stuff for personal development!

Don't tell me that you're trustworthy.  Show me.

How you behave on a day-to-day basis will determine whether others will trust you.  Your values, your communication, the extent to which you demonstrate caring and openness, your competence as well as your reliability and believability - all of these characteristics blend to engender trust. 

 Following are twenty behaviors that build trust.  Select three of them that you really want to implement.  Then, concentrate, do them, make them habits, and pick three more.

There is someone to whom you made a promise and you haven't delivered.  Follow-up and follow through.
 
You can complete a task that would make someone else's work or life easier.  Do it  . . . without fanfare.

 Think about someone who has great talent or potential.  Invest some time in helping him/her stretch.

Someone you know seems to be more subdued lately.  Initiate a friendly conversation that demonstrates that he/she is not alone.

Sit down with a co-worker and learn what's going on in his/her job.  Identify a need he/she has that you can fulfill.

You claim to have a certain value but you did not uphold it in a recent instance.  Return to that circumstance and make it right.

Find ways to share bits of information about yourself to create a sense of connection.

 Return to the people with whom you've had a recent awkward or uncomfortable exchange.  Express your desire to clear the air and do so right then.

Volunteer to do something above and beyond the norm.

 Figure out what pieces of information you should share with your co-workers that will clarify or simplify their work.

Discover ways to decrease the level of competition that exists around you.

 Acknowledge to the person affected that you have been inconsistent.  Then, correct the situation.

Identify an experience you can create that will help someone else have a win.

 Praise someone for collaborating with others.

 Strategize with a co-worker on an issue that is important to you both.

 Offer feedback to someone who has been seeking it.

 Apologize for a mistake.
 
Invite someone to give his/her opinion on an important topic.

Accept responsibility for cleaning up a problem and follow-through quickly.

 Set a positive example even when others fail to do so.
 
Teach me to believe in you.

All things considered, I want to give you my trust

Wrise Booker c/o Urban Playa

Develop Your Mind: Use the Amazing Powers of Self-Hypnosis,

Hypnosis is a fantastic resource you can use in your day-to-day life to solve many of your problems. It allows you to delve into your subconscious by crossing the threshold that separates your conscious and subconscious minds. You can take advantage of the amazing powers of hypnosis, which has been practiced effectively for centuries, by learning how to use the technique of self-hypnosis.  

But first, it’s important to change some of the preconceived notions you may have about the practice of hypnosis, and define what it is, and what it is not. As long as you’re not clear about that, and remain unconvinced of its effectiveness, it will be very hard for you to apply its principles.

A Pragmatic and Scientific Approach

Self-hypnosis is only one of the many ways hypnosis can be used to develop personality. I’d like you to take a few minutes now and make a list of the things that come to mind when you think about hypnosis. Take your time, and write down whatever thoughts you have that are associated with the word hypnosis. 

When your list is complete, set it aside for later, and read the principles outlined below, dealing with how hypnosis can easily be used as a method for personal development. 

You’ll be surprised to realize that if you get rid of your preconceptions about hypnosis, and even without any prior experience, you can easily place yourself in a state of self-hypnosis, and use it to improve your day-to-day life.

The first thing you need to realize is that, in some sense, we’re all hypnotized!

Under Permanent Influence

Consider one of the most common definitions of hypnosis: a process capable of, and used for, planting ideas in people’s minds, and making them act in accordance with those ideas, both while hypnotized and during their day-to-day activities. 

Contrary to what many people believe, it’s impossible to make someone do something they fundamentally don’t agree with. But we’ll talk more about that later. 

We’re all under the influence of something, at every moment of our lives. Our actions are motivated by the pressures we feel from the ideas we believe in, ideas that come from many sources: parental education, school, religious or spiritual sources, cultural environment, social and professional milieu, etc. 

During childhood, we assimilate a mountain of beliefs and preconceptions that dictate the way we think, speak and act later in life. 

Sometimes – I’d even say often – people don’t question the principles they were indoctrinated with while under someone else’s authority.

Submitting To Authority

Being submissive is one of the main principles guiding our lives. Being submissive to “authority” doesn’t just mean obeying the police, the government or the army. It means submitting to everyone you came into contact with who had power over you, from the time you were a child to the present day: parents, teachers, religious figures, mentors, spouse, doctor, friends, colleagues, etc. 

In short, all the people you respected, and whose advice you followed to the letter, without questioning its “authority” in the larger sense of the word.

Many of the ideas that govern the way you live were put there by authority figures, usually people who thought they were doing good. At the same time, your head is crammed with ideas, some of which may be good for others, but not for you.

The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions

You shouldn’t try to see anything malevolent in the way others imposed their will on you. As the saying goes, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” People who thought they were acting in your best interests may have led you astray, and made you do things that didn’t correspond to your nature. 

Al of us, at some point in our lives, are hypnotized by ideas that are imposed on us, suggested by others. Which brings us back to the definition of hypnosis I gave you earlier. 

Let me remind you of it, so you don’t lose the thread of what I’m saying: Hypnosis is a process capable of, and used for, planting ideas in people’s minds, and making them act in accordance with those ideas, both while hypnotized and during their day-to-day activities.

Impregnate your mind with that principle, and then do the following exercises.

Exercise N° 1: The Practice of Self-Hypnosis

- Sit down in a comfortable position, or stretch out on your back.
- Close your eyes. 
- Breathe deeply from your abdomen* about a dozen times (1 cycle = 1 inspiration and 1 exhalation). Let your body gradually relax.
- Concentrate on the parts of your body, in the following order: feet, calves, thighs, buttocks, abdomen, solar plexus, chest, hands, forearms, upper arms, shoulders, neck, jaw, forehead, scalp, upper and lower back, coccyx.
- When you’re completely relaxed, formulate a positive suggestion. For example, you could say "From now on I’m filled with self-confidence."
- Then visualize a scene where you can demonstrate your self-confidence.

Recommendation: practice this exercise regularly, at least once a day, and use formulations that help improve your life.

* Abdominal breathing means controlling your breath with your abdomen. When you inhale, pull your stomach in. When you exhale, let it expand. Don’t force the rhythm of your breathing, but let it become slower and deeper on its own.

Exercise N° 2: The Mount Athos Method

- Sit cross-legged on the floor in a calm location. If the position is too difficult because you lack practice, or suffer from arthritis or joint problems, use a chair. Just make sure your back is straight, and your shoulders are relaxed. 
- Half-close your eyes. 
- Concentrate on your breathing, inhaling and exhaling at your natural speed, without forcing it in any way.
- When thoughts arise in your mind, let them pass. Don’t try to retain any of them, and don’t try to stop thinking about them either. Focus on your breathing. If your mind starts to follow a train of thought, concentrate harder on your breathing, and it will pass by itself.

Do this exercise starting with 15 minutes a day, and working yourself up to 30. It’s best to do it in the morning after waking up, to get yourself in shape for the rest of the day.

After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.  

"What's up with the big brass gong?" one of his guests asked. 

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied. 

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend. 

"Yup," replied the drunk. 

"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it. 

"Watch," the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back. 

The three stood looking at one another for a moment. 

Suddenly a voice on the other side of the wall screamed ... 

"You asshole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!" 

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died. "Holy crap" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side."

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.

He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.  He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"

He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"

 To be honest is to NOT lie; to be rigorously honest is to tell the truth. Hmmmm? I think someone was on the honesty tract.

The other day I had a thought, a mental trailer that ran through my mind like those shown at movie theatres right before the beginning of the feature film.

It was edited, graphic, stirred my emotions, right then and there I knew I wanted to revisit that trailer again, because it had that great of an impact on me. The mental trailer went something like this:

100 percent of my mental capacity had been suckered into thinking about living calculations, mortgages, car payments, food lists and gas prices in Indiana. I was in meditative mode when, flash, a commercial break. It was about a lover, a moment in time that I wish I was experiencing, immediately.  I could remember her smell.  Not the perfume on her skin, but the fragrance in her skin.  You know that clean to the bone smell.  That nasal stimulation that you notice every once in awhile and realize that this person takes self indulgences to the highest levels.

She had the kind of clean that when you licked and kissed her she tasted like a human dew drop that moistened the tongue. Even when she perspired (because women don't sweat) I would lick her and she never had that salty after taste.  The sensations were simply delightful, beyond exhilarating; it blew my mind that her skin excited my tongue instead of the other way around. Eating her would be the best diet imaginable because I was full with zero calories.

I remember her feet! Her toe game was always on point. Every week I was surprised by the colors she chose to adorn them.  How soft they were, whenever they graced my body I would give mental notes of "I appreciate you", for being so considerate about those gifts.

She knew I liked that very much please, and she took extra time taking care of them for me, they were my property, I owned those feet and she liked the idea that I was bold/spoiled enough to take possession of them. (The nerve of me!)
 
The two gifts went up to two other gifts, her legs/calfs.  Some days they would look a little thin, but she would put on a pair of heals that would make the back of her legs explode. Heaven how sexy!  I knew those shoes would hurt her feet sometimes but, I loved the effect. Then, she had this trick of putting the right amount of oil on her legs. The oil would make them shine with soft reflections on my eyes.  They would hypnotize me when I watched them move to and fro. 

Same for her hair.  Another surprise.  One week long. One week short.  Either way I dug it.  She was unpredictable.  I was never with the same woman from week to week.  One day I was dating Halle, another Beyonce, Taraji and Keyshia.

When we did the damn thing she would go there.  She would let me go there.  All acts were good.  She trusted my moves, my mojo. I got you baby.  Let it ride.  Has this been on your mind all week, then take if off your shoulders.  Lay it on our alter, and let our spirit take it away.  The fit was goodie good.  The Creator has a master plan. Its you, BABY!  He made you just for me and, I know it.
 
It doesn't get any better than this. Talk to me baby! Tell me a story but, make it sweet lullabies. The world doesn't matter now. US! US! WE! OOH WEE! Don't do that but, I want you to and ... back to the bills car payments, and such. To our lovers past, present and future, I salute you! It was just a thought!

My favorite post of 2011.  I was feeling a little jazzy that day so, I had to express myself this grown man talk, hide the babies, puppy dogs and seniors (well maybe not the seniors).

Revisit LOVE/SEX its good for the SOUL

URBAN PLAYA

I beleive in doing good things over and over still to develop good habits.  I am dedicated to providing positive messaging to my folllowers that drive you to happiness first, but ultimately a successful living condition.  I am not ashamed to say that I need it (I'm Honest). I hope that if you need it, that this will be a great place to start. Shalom! 

Family,

Many of us make resolutions at the start of the New Year. This year, I have a suggestion resolution to all of my readers, which involves “living in the moment?” This is the ability to be fully present and aware of yourself and your surroundings as you live each moment. Achieving this state requires observation, appreciation, patience, quiet, and the ability to turn off the clock and put away the calendar.

 While most of us don't experience such times frequently, this is when we feel the most alive. In theory, Family, being present involves learning how to pay attention, and the process of getting there is far easier than you might think. There are a few simple things you can do right now to help you stay in the present and pay attention to your life experience in a very positive way.

Start by setting a few quiet minutes aside each day to close your eyes and take stock of what you are feeling, no matter how good or bad those feelings may be. Don't judge your feelings, just allow yourself to become aware of the emotions behind them.

Next, send your attention outward and become aware of things around you. Notice if you feel warm or cold, what your clothing feels like against your skin, the feeling of the air moving in and out of your lungs. Let the sounds around you filter through you and notice the underlying noises that you may have been tuning out. Next, open your eyes and notice the colors and sights around you in this same subtle, attentive way.

By the time you are halfway through this little exercise, Family, you may be surprised at how much you actually notice about your internal and external presence. If you try this, you will probably find that “paying attention” will take on a whole new meaning, and it will be a very nice one at that.

I hope that all can take some time this week to practice “living in the moment.” I feel sure that it will change your experience in “now” time and that's not a bad goal for the year. Enjoy!

That's STRONG

Bethea & THE Urban Playa

Are you satisfied with the status quo?  Could You Get your hussle on? The best time to indulge is right now, while you are contemplating new year's resolutions and such.  "Hand Down - Man Down", raise up and make it happen. 

Recently, I saw a fascinating article about billionaires.  It was about their habits -- and how they think, work and make all their money.  Very interesting stuff, to say the least. And some of their habits include:* Frugality (I admit, I didn't see that one coming)* Vision (This is HUGE, no vision equals death in business)* Risk taking (I don't know about this one... some of the richest people I know of absolutely do NOT take risks.  For example, legendary investors Warren Buffet and Peter Lynch have repeatedly said they are great risk AVOIDERS.  Something to consider...)* Patience ("Get rich quick" is a lie, but you CAN speed up the process...)* And finally... Entrepreneurism. That's right, my friend.You'll never have true wealth working for "the man."It's the only way to be "for real" free.To live life on YOUR terms.  And to provide a lifestyle for yourself and your family other people can only dream about.  True, being an entrepreneur is not always peaches and cream (and it's not for everyone).  But they enjoy many "perks" (large and small) the average person -- even someone with a "great job" -- can't even imagine.

Hey start off small.  Get your list together and ask the question "what do I know or, do better than many others", you will receive and answer. Now, what you gonna do about it Playa.

It's up to You!

Remember "Hand Down - Man Down"

Sho U Right!

Urban PLaya

I want my happiness to be an experience that is not controlled by outside events, but internally in my mind and spirit. 

I have a question for you: What does it take to make you happy?  Is it more
money, spare time, good friends, a better job?  Through my many years of living, I have confronted a common theme regarding happiness.  In
fact, I've come across it so often that I've named it the “I'll be happy when …” syndrome.  It is a very common expression that we have all said.  “I will be happy when I don't have to get up at 5:30 am to catch the bus to work.”
 “I will  be happy when my husband/wife shows more respect for me.”

 “I will be happy when I  get my new car.”  And it goes on and on about a state of mind that remains in
the future rather than in the here and now.

 Happiness shouldn't be something dangling out there in the world of  tomorrow or someday.  It isn't a feeling to experience once something else  happens.  It is something to be experienced now, in this moment.  While our  anticipation or focus on the future is perfectly fine, connecting happiness to
future events can cause us to miss out on any immediate opportunities for joy and fulfillment.

Family, happiness is more powerful when experienced as an immediate emotion than seen as a carrot to be sought after.  Interestingly, many people  find that when they place future conditions on happiness, even when those conditions are met, they don't feel the pleasure they had expected to.  The key
is to learn how to let go of the unknown future and the unchangeable past and  allow the goodness of the moment to fill you with inner peace.  The present moment is all that we have, and when you find meaning and satisfaction in the present, your future will take care of itself.

Happiness means feeling pleasure about what you have right this minute. In any given moment, if we try hard enough, we can find good and positive things  to be happy about.  Maybe it is simply that the sun is out and shining warmly on  our skin or we are enjoying a nice cup of hot tea with a good friend.  Or maybe  after a tough day at work, we know we have done our very best, or we shared time
with a child.

Family, I hope that today you will acknowledge the many blessings in your  life that make each moment a cause for joy and happiness.  And I must warn you  that happiness can be contagious, so you just might end up having a positive  effect on those around you as well.  Please take the time to pray over your  Health, Wealth and Happiness and you might find even more reasons today to be happy.

Be Blessed Bethea & The Urban Playa
Sounding OFF!

1.  Drink plenty of water. 
2.  Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3.  Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is
manufactured in plants..
4.  Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy 
5.  Make time to pray. 
6.  Play more games
7.  Read more books than you did in  2011
8.  Sit in silence for  at least 10 minutes each day
9.  Sleep  for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And  while you walk, smile. 
Personality :
11.    Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12.    Don't have negative thoughts or worry over things you cannot control. Instead 
         invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13.    Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14.    Don't take yourself so  seriously. No one else does.
15.    Don't waste your precious  energy on gossip.
16.    Dream more while you are awake 
17.    Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you  need..
18.   Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your  partner with His/her mistakes of the past.
        That  will ruin your present  happiness.
19.    Life is too short to waste time hating  anyone. Don't hate others.
20.    Make peace with your past  so it won't spoil the present.
21.    No one is in charge of  your happiness except you.  
22.    Realize that  life is a school and you are here to learn.  Problems are simply part of
the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you
learn will last a lifetime.
23.    Smile and laugh more. 
24.    You don't have to win every argument. Agree to  disagree... 
Society :
25.    Call your family often. 
26.    Each day give something good to others. 
27.    Forgive everyone for everything. 
28.    Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under  the age of  6.  
29.    Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30.    What other people think  of you is none of your business.
31.    Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch. 
Life :
32.    Do the right thing! 
33.    Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or  joyful.
34.    GOD heals everything. 
35.    However good or bad a situation is, it will change.. 
36.    No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 
37.    The best is yet to come..
38.    When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39.    Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy! 
40.    Love in this order, GOD, SELF,LADY,FAMILY,FRIENDS in that order.   

STAND ON IT & Keep the PEACE!!!!!
UrbanPlaya